What Gardening Can Teach Us About Dealing With Difficult Circumstances

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

My wife and I have started two gardens in the last 6 months. We’ve got a small patch in our front yard with tomatoes, peppers, and zucchini. In April, we revamped a backyard plot and turned it into a bigger garden with things like sweet potatoes, cauliflower, and cantaloupe.

Because of this, I’ve been more interested in stories and updates concerning gardening. As I was flipping through the New York Times morning updates on my email, this quote and story caught my eye:

“If you can’t enjoy weeding, you won’t be a happy gardener.”

The story went on to describe the life and work of a Timothy Tilghman, the head gardener at Untermyer Park and Gardens. His job is to keep and work the 43-acre former estate that can be found located on the Hudson River in New York.

Timothy went on to tell the Times that even though the regular routine and rhythm of visitors has been disrupted over the last few months due to the pandemic, there is still work to be done in his day-to-day maintenance and care.

Margaret Roach, the Garden Expert for the New York Times, spoke with Mr. Tilghman about the things that are piling up on his to-do list over these summer months. She writes that the list includes:

“…watering and weeding consistently (and observing and noting what needs fixing), removing deadheads and grooming, keeping edges tidy, mulching, and preparing future beds.”

The more I read about the story and work of Timothy Tilghman, the more I was convinced that his role as the head gardener at Untermyer Park was an incredible snapshot for you and me as we continue to seek to move forward through this pandemic.

All of us have been disrupted by the pandemic and the resulting changes to work, business, and relationships. We have all needed to learn to adjust and flex to try to get through these days while still maintaining some semblance of sanity.

Even though these months have been full of adjustments and never-before-seen circumstances, Timothy Tilghman’s story reminds us that the basic steps of making progress are still the same. These steps aren’t extravagant or flashy, but they are foundational in helping you move into a better tomorrow.

Do the Dirty Work

There is a deep truth to be found in the idea that if you can’t enjoy the dirty work, the detailed work, the necessary but often monotonous work, then you won’t be a happy professional.

For Timothy, or for anyone else who works in a garden, the dirty work is the weeding. For the writer, the dirty work is editing. Every profession or practice has its share of dirty work. Every accomplishment and sense of victory stems from a source of hard and often detailed work. There is no gain that happens without a little pain and sweat.

If we want to move forward into positive opportunities and good days, it may take a re-focusing or a doubling-down on the dirty work.

It’s not sexy or showy. No one is going to stand and applaud you for weeding your garden. There are no awards for “best weed-er”, or “most consistent water-er.” The dirty work is meant to be a personal triumph, a self-celebration.

Make Space For Observation

These days, it can feel like life is moving at 100 mph and you have your head stuck out the window, trying desperately to take a full breath against the wind.

For many of us, what we need is not a prolonged vacation, although that would be nice. In fact, most people who vacation actually come back to work and regular life more tired than they were before they left. What we need is what Timothy Tilghman described as a consistent practice of observing and noting what needs fixing.

For me, this means scheduling out an hour each week that I call development and dreaming. During this hour, I close my laptop, put away my phone, and just slow down enough to think and observe on my past week.

If you’re in a rut and are looking for a practical step to help move you forward and make good progress, consider setting aside some time for observation. Breathe deeply. Let your mind wander and linger as it goes. Make some space for you and see what comes from that time.

Grooming

It’s hard to make anything beautiful without some form of grooming. For Timothy and his garden at Untermyer Park, he knows this better than most.

Even though there are few visitors coming through his garden, Timothy still feels the responsibility to groom the flowers. He does this by removing any negative or dead plants, by keeping the flowers tidy, and by mulching and adding supportive structures so that the flowers that are rooted can bloom.

The practice of grooming is really the idea of taking care of the valuable things you already have in your life. It doesn’t necessarily mean planting new flowers or putting down new plants. It implies that you trim and cut back and protect and provide for what is already in your life.

Often, the best way to groom your life in seasons of difficulty is to practice saying “no” to things outside of what you already have in front of you.

Preparing Future Beds

The last step towards helping you make progress and move into a better tomorrow is the idea of preparing for future beds.

I loved that Timothy finished with this phrase in his description of his day to day work. Despite the fact that he has had less traffic and fewer tourists through his garden this summer, he knows that these are perfect days to be preparing for future garden beds.

Preparing for future opportunities gives you confidence. It helps raise your spirits by showing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Even though you may be in dark days right now, there will be a season in the future where you will need new garden beds. Bank on it.

Happiness Comes With Work

One of the biggest myths out there is that you can have both: happiness and easiness. The two rarely go hand-in-hand. As Timothy said, if you want to be a happy gardener, you have to be able to enjoy the work, to enjoy the weeding.

It’s not impossible to be healthy and happy, even though the circumstances are hard. There are core steps you can follow to aim your life at a better tomorrow. But like a master gardener, you have to be willing to get your hands a little dirty.